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November 2021
Open letter to the friend I didn't quite make
I've been having these thoughts weigh on my mind and I wasn't too certain how I should get them out... Everytime I dwell on them, I feel an emptiness, one unlike any I've experienced.
Pardon me while I speak a little overdramatically, but it feels like something akin to someone dying. Slowly fading out of existence, never hearing their voice or seeing them again. You could talk to them but there's no response. And without saying goodbye, there's this thin layer of dirt covering a deep wound left in the ground.
A void, if you will.
Without this closure I'm starting to doubt the validity of the experience. I can't say all of this because I hardly knew you. So let me indulge myself as I write these words.
It's my secret pity party, because let's be real: no one's reading this, except for maybe one person.
/////
In less than two months one of my best friends will be moving a few states over. I'm fairly terrified because she's one of the first new friends I made whenever I moved out here. It only took three years. And she's been such an integral part of my life for the last six years. I'm so incredibly happy for her, she discounts herself all the time, so sometimes I wish she'd look in the mirror and recognize that everything she has accomplished is so amazing and wonderful and 100% her own doing. Without her, my life seriously be entirely different right now. I wouldn't have an associate's degree, I wouldn't be working on my Bachelor's degree, I simply would not be the person I am today had she not become a part of my life. I'm going to cry when she leaves. I know this goodbye will not be forever--- our friendship is such an incredibly strong bond.
Sorry for rambling so much.
I've been working on some new material for some old material. I can't get Viktor's Girls out of my head, so I've been working on some artwork in order to spark some new life into the project and I intend on writing more for it. Their stories are not finished-- and I'm looking forward to the journey they take me on (and yes, I'm speaking as if the girls are real)!
