I think I am officially crazy. 2:07 and I'm alone in my room crying. Over a situation that I have created myself and I feel like I can't do anything about it..I have created a situation that is a non-situation. I know I am speaking in codes or rather words that just simply don't make any fucking sense but I know what I'm talking about and really that's the only thing that matters right now because I want to be sad and alone right now. I mean I want to just sit here and cry about it so that I won't be sad anymore, like getting something off my chest. I can pretend there are other people are here but whenever I think of them and who they might be or could be I come up empty. I don't think there is anyone I want to talk to. At least..

The thing that sucks the most about this is I only have myself to hold accountable for. You would think I would act more consciously...

Sometimes I feel like I have no one. I am looking around my room like there might be something in here to make me feel better but there are only stuffed toys and stupid fucking memories. I want to break something. I want to scream really loudly or maybe just drive somewhere that isn't here. I can't do either one of those things though because it's nighttime and people are sleeping and I have no one to scream at- and I don't have a vehicle or valid driver's license. Soon though, whenever I can drive, I would like very much to just drive somewhere very far, probably at night, park and look up at the stars and...what?

Why do I feel like I have no purpose? Why do I feel like no one gives me purpose?

Slowly...piece by piece I am ridding myself of all of the completely unnecessary things in my life. I think that's what I'll do whenever I wake up. I am making breakfast for my roommates just like I made them dinner- and then I will finish this purge I have started.