And I wonder as I lay here, in this sleepless field of dreams..

HELLO!

Somehow you've stumbled upon my blog, scraping the ends of the internet for something interesting.

Instead you found this.
I hope I don't put you to sleep.


Stories of fiction and fact lie dormant in this digital journal. Anything labelled with fiction junction is just that: fiction.

STORIES

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do you think of me when I think of you

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as the nighttime slowly sings...?

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I can't keep my head up.
Dec 7, 2013 || 11:24 PM || comment?

So...here I am. Laying in my bed. Music playing. Tears running down my face. Even though I've talked to people I still feel...unheard? Or maybe misunderstood? Or maybe I'm just really upset and the fact that I'm so upset is making me even more upset. Once I'm alone, all I really feel like doing is crying. No matter how much control I think I have over a situation......over myself...I am just so so wrong. I am not very well kept together right now. Why? Why why why...

My room is clean...for what? What's the point? I keep talking to people and maybe they aren't hearing me or maybe I'm not saying anything...or maybe I'm not talking to the right people. I think I just want to work a lot, not think about anything for a good while. I think too much.

To top off my stupid overemotional state, I have tonsillitis and my medicine makes me think I'm starting to feel better and then I don't. Crying of course is not gonna make THAT better, but it's the only thing I know how to do well... I'm really not even that good at math or science or singing or love or anything. There are better people for all of those things.

Yeah, this pretty much sucks. A lot. I'm sorry.

School is done pretty much for the rest of the year, I just have one final on Monday and then that's it for the rest of the year. So I can only fill my time with work and more work. I need to find a bunch of things to occupy my time. I've finally started setting up my room the way I want it to look, so I can definitely finish working on that. I really want to try to keep my room as tidy as possible and I really really need to get rid of a lot of excess. I think I am definitely better than I used to be but of course we can always improve upon ourselves can't we? I guess that's one facet of life- always improving the self.

This whole thing has been fairly...

Wordy?

I mean to say that I'm just writing what I think of as I think of it, just not true stream of consciousness style...that would probably be a bit strange. At any rate,  I do feel a little better having written some words. It's probably time for bed.

Thanks for reading.