This was going to be a much longer post- but something terrible happened. I writing this on my phone and I pressed the home button thinking I could return to the app and finish where I left off.

Not true. It didn't save anything, and I'd been writing for a good ten minutes. At any rate I'll just continue where I left off.

As it turns out, I'm not as stoic as I thought I was or imagined myself to be. I feel...it is very easy for me to keep my issues to myself..and not let my bad thoughts or feelings bother people...but right now I kind of just want to cry or talk to someone. Actually I know exactly who I want to talk to. But it really isn't an option. I suppose in reality it is an option, I am just choosing not to make it available to myself.

...and if I did talk to you, what would I say?
Would it even be worth bringing up?
Would you care? Should I?
..the questions aren't making me feel very good, and the answers I am giving myself don't make me feel better.

One of the things I had written about before I lost it all to digital space was whether or not people think about my past interactions with them, they way I do sometimes. In the same vein, I wonder if you think of me as often as I think of you. And it's not an obsessive kind of thinking about you...but a kind of curious one. I guess I really just want to know if it actually meant anything to you. If it did, then my thoughts aren't wasted. If it didn't, I think this would be beneficial knowledge to stop thinking about you. I think it can be as simple as that.

But you know, maybe I am just kidding myself? That's also very likely....

It really shows that I'm not used to this kind of thing. Or anything really.

Also, it's getting cold again.