And I wonder as I lay here, in this sleepless field of dreams..

HELLO!

Somehow you've stumbled upon my blog, scraping the ends of the internet for something interesting.

Instead you found this.
I hope I don't put you to sleep.


Stories of fiction and fact lie dormant in this digital journal. Anything labelled with fiction junction is just that: fiction.

STORIES

» fiction junction. [all stories are sorted by this tag]
» refraction.
» love's weight.
» Viktor's Girls. [an ongoing collection]


do you think of me when I think of you

» Rachel Waa.
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as the nighttime slowly sings...?

» chih.
» kaylyn.
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» j comeau of A Softer World.


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Five fifty three aye. em.
Aug 13, 2012 || 5:43 AM || comment?

This is pretty lame. By myself, can't seem to be able to fall asleep. Why is that so? I slept by myself for more than half my life. Although I haven't really slept alone since 2008. And there was only a nine month gap in between where there was no one else to help keep this bed warm. I guess it's possible that I'm doing something wrong. Am I too mean? Is my attitude abrasive? Sometimes I can't help but wonder if it's possible that I can still make someone happy or if I really am all that pretty. I sometimes try to make myself look nice, but not all the day. Is it my lack of motivation? If I were a stronger person maybe it wouldn't seem so hard to lay here by myself. This whole time I've been saying I prefer to be independent and yet really maybe I can't handle being alone even if it's only for a night. And why do I feel as sad as I do? Am I too blind to see the reason why you left without saying goodbye? And then you didn't come back... sometimes I wonder if I actually make you happy or you are just pretending. I like time alone but I also can't handle this quiet. I like the sound of your steady breathing when you are laying next to me. I'm still awake then but I at least feel calm that you are nearby.

Maybe I should be alone. I feel more dependent than ever.