“if only you could see”

February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 May 2010 June 2010 September 2010 October 2010 January 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 August 2011 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 August 2013 November 2013 December 2013 January 2014 June 2014 July 2014 August 2014 May 2015 May 2016 June 2016 July 2016 December 2016 June 2017 July 2017 June 2018 November 2020 December 2020 April 2021 November 2021

It was lightly breezy. It was dark. There was the faint sound of a squeaky swing as someone willed it back and forth. She was under the tree. A two by four was her resting place. She occupied one end while he occupied the other. The distance between them was...what? It seemed unnoticeable by him. To her it was palpable. His face was flushed, and his breathing was heavy. She felt around in the dirt, running her fingers over several small rocks. One particularly round one reminded her of an egg. She held it in her palm, and brought it closer to her face. Its surface wasn't incredibly smooth, but it wasn't ragged either. She closed her hand around it. The small weight of it was soon forgotten. She dropped her hand to her side again and she felt the two by four shift beneath her. She glanced to the right and noticed he had gotten up and was walking away. He didn't look back at her, but she quickly got up and followed behind him. The breeze was playing at the hem of her dress now. She stared at her feet as she walked forward. They seemed to have a mind of their own as she watched them, one in front of the other, pulling her towards him, the mysterious workings of some magnetic force. Her attraction to him couldn't be easily explained. His carefree attitude. His simple smile. His playful demeanor. It made her forget her own worries, if only for a short time, when she was with him. She looked up for a moment. She could see his silhouette a few feet ahead of her, and still he wasn't looking back. She sighed. She brought her next foot forward, and there was a falter in her step. It took a moment to realize the ground was coming at her at a surprisingly fast rate. She had no time to think. Her face was in the dirt, and her hands and forehead were stinging. The tears came quickly, rolling off her face and mixing with the dirt. She exhaled and the dirt stirred for a moment. She wondered how long she would lay there. She tried moving the same foot, only to find it was stuck under a particularly gnarly root. She pushed herself up into a sitting position, then pulled on her leg to release her foot. She slowly stood, and brushed off her dress. She wiped the tears from her eyes, and looked ahead to where she last saw him. He was gone. Of course, he hadn't looked back, not even once. By this time, it shouldn't have surprised her, but it hurt her nonetheless. More tears welled in her eyes as she made her way back to her car, which was parked next to his. She stared at it for a moment before getting in, and driving away alone.