“if only you could see”

February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 May 2010 June 2010 September 2010 October 2010 January 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 August 2011 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 August 2013 November 2013 December 2013 January 2014 June 2014 July 2014 August 2014 May 2015 May 2016 June 2016 July 2016 December 2016 June 2017 July 2017 June 2018 November 2020 December 2020 April 2021 November 2021

But us, we found peace in the shadows, long enough to see those monsters rise, sometimes well, candy's got some space to fill up in a daydream, livin' high on yesterday's lies..

Where is my head? my mind? my thoughts? lately I am not so sure. i suppose there are plenty of things I would like to write, but i don't..i have desires to write stories but stories no longer find themselves unfolding in my mind, and then i have nothing worthy to write about to talk about to think about to dream about. lately my dreams have been somewhat parched...well i guess i am saying this because lately my dreams have been dealing with things that happened during my waking life, which i suppose isn't really unusual, but usually i cannot understand why i have the dreams that i do, but now they pull their thoughts from my thoughts, but i still enjoy my dreams, but i enjoyed them more when they were complete works of fiction with no real life fodder to block mind's imagination...in my dreams there is so much action, so much adrenaline, so much to escape in that i sometimes long to go back to sleep and finish the story...whatever chapter or paragraph of some unknown story formed from seemingly nothing and yet everything at the same time.

i am moving into my new apartment this weekend and i am incredibly glad to get out of this one and start over again and pretend that i am moving here for the first time and trying to make sure that i do everything in my power to do everything right. cook and be healthier and save my money and be productive.

i love my job (makin' bank at 13$/hr). i love (most) of the kids. some i love more than the others. i would talk about them but probably that would be something boring for anyone who might be reading. unless you want to hear about them. then you can let me know.

cvs is hiring pharmacy technicians and my neighbor works at cvs as a pharm tech and he isn't even certified but he is a chem major and anyways i'm going to go talk to them i suppose and see whats up and see what i can possibly do. im saying this because probably during school i wont be able to work as much as i am now at mathnasium so maybe a second job won't be too much, consider mathnasium closes at 7p and i think the pharmacies might stay open longer? i dunno we'll see what happens. well, i'll see what happens and then i'll let you guys know.