I really wonder how you feel on these nights so alone

“if only you could see”

And like Icarus I collide.

Jan 31, 2009 || 10:26 PM || comment?

It's pretty nice having random fruit in the plastic bowls I set up in the kitchen. I would love to get different kinds of apples, but this time we got some green ones. The green apples are always the kind of green of dying grass. The apples also don't get very big, much like their Red Delicious counterparts. (I think that's what they are actually called)

So I stroll into the kitchen, begin to cook the chicken that will take a total of two hours. In the meantime, lets eat an apple. I have the wide variety of apple, apple, apple, grapefruit. I'll save the grapefruit when I have other food to eat it with. It's not a good idea to eat a grapefruit by itself. So I pick an apple that looks promising, or rather, it probably the one my hand first touches. I twist off the stem and peel off the sticker. I take a knife and being slicing it. How easy would it be to just slice my finger? To skim it across my skin, and make a very superficial cut? I did this accidentally earlier whenever I picked up a broken hand mirror. Heh, actually the mirror was broken, yes, but I bent the outside to pop out the pieces. I didn't even realize I was cut until I threw away the three pieces, and looked at my hand. My left middle finger had a long white line, and it was the thinnest little flap of skin. I didn't know it was possible to skin myself like that. It probably happened when I pulled out the middle piece of glass from the mirror.

So despite my curious of cutting apples and fingers, I am still careful not to lose one. The apple pieces are very imperfect, they are not the cute wedges you might expect, instead they are very bad slivers, like if you ran a chord through a circle. Make the circle an apple, and the chord because the slice of apple I managed to cut. I'm eating that one last because on its backside it looks like a very nice oval to me.

Green apples aren't my favorite because they are not that flavorful. A lot of times flavor is derived from smell. That's why you can pinch your nose and are sometimes able to down something particularly disgusting (like marshmallows and ketchup.)

That's why red apples are my favorite. They smell so wonderful.

For my friend Bethany, she always just had really great birthday parties. One year was like a Fear Factor theme. Kind of. Really the only part was eating those horrible marshmallows. Heh, Bethany threw up. But it reaaaaally helped to pinch your nose. Another thing we did was throw wet noodles onto someone. We got points for the amount of noodles on the person. Then we spit grapes into three buckets, of varying distance. Hehe, I won with the most points for that birthday. I forgot what I won, some kind of gift card.

She had scavenger birthdays, I think twice. It's still fun anyways haha. I just thought of one the activities we had to do, and the ridiculous irony is so much, I am not going to say what it was. Along with that, we had to walk through Kmart wearing Depends, do a "Chinese" fire drill. Can anyone at all explain to me why they call it a fire drill, and a Chinese one at that? If you don't know what it is, when you're at a red light, everyone gets out of the car, and runs around the car as many times as possible before the light turns green. Or there's a number of times, either way that is not a fire drill and I highly doubt any person of Chinese decent came up with it. I think we also had sleepovers where we watched a lot of scary movies? We were all really great friends. I mean...we all had our French classes with each other, and it was really cool. I don't regret at all the separation that occurred with high school.

I'm down to two slices of apple left, so what else should I talk about? you know I am not really talking, rather I'm typing. What else should I let you read about?

I really really want to get a dog whenever I am finished with college. The companionship is so wonderful. That way, whenever I am home alone I will be able to spend such great time with the little thing. Why do we as humans become attached to animals? Why do we as /animals/ become attached to other animals? Does anyone know around what time the first human is believed to have been found? And what kind of animals were around before us? I wonder why evolution did not allow those animals to be the humans of today, and us the animals. Those animals have survived the greatest tests of time.

You might ask what the point of that was. While I am correcting my typos as I type, I wanted to keep my original train of thought just so you could read it. You spent all this time reading so far that you deserve to know what it is I was really thinking.

Does anyone think they have a strange way in connecting certain thoughts or ideas? Like maybe there is a paper on the ground. And it's an old school paper. Then you think of other school papers, and look for them, and they scattered around. Then you think about the last day of school last year and remember how there were so many papers scattered about the courtyard. Maybe that's how everyone connects thoughts or ideas, random tangents that pop in your head. However, most people know when to verbally connect thoughts, and that is usually not how you would go about thinking them though. Like maybe you are asking me about music I've listened to, then I'll ask you if you've ever listened to a certain person. You only see it as: music, other artists. However in my head it goes: you mention artist, I think of a song by that artist, I think of that music video, it was kind of different, I think of an artist whose videos are all different, I think of that artist, I ask you: do you listen to this new artist? Why don't I mention to you all of those things I just thought about? I guess because we know how to filter our thoughts into appropriate conversation. While that wasn't really "inappropriate" it was, however, wordy, and kind of boring maybe. There is no need to explain all of that. Unless you're teaching math.

I finished eating my apple. (: