I really wonder how you feel on these nights so alone

“if only you could see”

your quietly beating heart.

Nov 23, 2008 || 12:06 AM || comment?

she spent her free time holding the vinyl record, staring at it and getting lost in its infinite blackness. she took the most care setting it into the turntable, holding both sides and lowering them evenly and not simply letting it drop. the arm moved lifted, then swayed to the record, and lowered into the groove of the record, it began spinning, playing, emitting the most beautiful sounds she would ever hear. the warm sounds of instruments playing, and a man singing of things she didn't quite understand yet. but it didn't matter what was being sung, it was the voice she fell in love with...

that story really has no point...i feel that a lot of things i do end up having no point. and yet i keep doing them. have you ever walked by something, like...a place, and felt, "i would really like to take pictures of that." there are a few streets in lake charles that i really want to take some pictures, but the pictures i have in mind are something a photographer might do? i'm not exactly a photographer, just that i take pictures of people i know when we go out and do things. there is also this...garage? like thing on a street that i have been parking at now. a few cars park in front of it, but it's not big enough to actually park in/under it. it also looks as if you wouldn't want to do that anyways. it is old, or at least it looks like it might fall over with a strong enough wind. there is a bit of graffiti in it, and i think that random grass stuff that grows in between cracks in cement. i want to take pictures of that. when i think that, i think about what exactly i want to photographer. haha it might sound kind of...expected.

because the garage/whatever thing is old/destroyed/in need of renovation, i imagine taking pictures of a girl wearing something really nice, like a nice dress in there. she might be wearing a white dress. i want her to be petite, and maybe with black hair. the girl herself can either be my age or 20s, or maybe she can be a child. the contrast of her youthfulness and the old building is what i want to convey. she would represent life of course. i can only think of people to photograph because what object would represent life? haha then as i just typed that, i thought of eggshells. i could have a picture of some eggshells, hopefully with a bottom part intact so it could sit on the ground, with bits of it around the bigger piece. the picture would focus on the eggshell, the background would be blurry. or maybe something that represents order amongst the disorder of the old place...?

the streets in lake charles, you turn onto...ernest st.? then around college oaks elementary, there are a few streets where the streets themselves have trees growing on either side, like a canopy. i dont know why, i just know i'd like to take pictures in the area at night...of what i dont know, and i dont know why either haha. to be able to make a career out of taking pictures like that would be nice...i am afraid of doing something that will ultimately be unfulfilling [like my current major] to do something like the photography i describe...would be oh so nice...

I don't give you quite enough credit for what you do for me...

flawless.

a movie starring demi moore and michael craine. it started off slow...then it got really good. XD demi moore and michael craine are the main characters, and they both work for this diamond company in london, set in the 1960s. the only share the mutual feeling of being wronged by the company, and michael craine's character decides he wants to rob the diamond company. once you get to that part, is when it gets better, and i don't really want to ruin it anymore than i already have for anyone that decides they feel like watching it when they are bored or because it has michael craine in it XD i swear that man is my new favorite actor. i find that all of his roles, his character is always sarcastic to some degree, with a better understanding of people than what you might be comfortable with. also somewhat manipulative characters.

i decided to grow my hair long, and that i just need to get some bangs of some sort instead of dumb long side things. because i don't like them, and i have the need to cover some portion of my face. XD also i need to get off my ass and get new glasses and get a job and go through my massive pile of clothes, 50% of which i am sure i do not wear and just don't want to get rid of because the nature of rachel is to hoard useless things, despite their uselessness, or lack of no longer having value to me (such as clothes that i just don't wear anymore. XD) there is a good will right by my house, actually it is closer to school. whatever. :P that is my to-do-eventually list.