“if only you could see”
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Untitiled. For your sanity.
ME: melly melly mellll
ME he will never tellll
ME :P
mel: :P
ME im making a song!
ME any of my se-cretsss
ME: if he does i'll be de-presssed
ME: who does mel love? we will really never know, but thats fine with me, he gives me private shows ;D ME: sometimes he likes to tease, sometimes he likes to dance, but unfortunately for me, he doesnt want in my pants
ME: i wonder if he's blushing now, he's so easily flustered, i know he's seeing other girls, where else would he get this mustard (staiiiiiin) (: ME: sometimes i like to give him fright, to show him his place, but then he really gets me back, with his fist kissing my face
ME: i know this isnt something i should joke about, when he hits me i scream and shout ME: but dont worry about me or him, we're just into S&M (:
sometimes i find that my creative license should be revoked or something, but i'm glad it's not because i wouldn't be able to share this with you guys. (:
my living room is entirely too hot for simple pleasures!
college is going to be one hell of an experience that I don't feel like typing out now or explaining, but maybe I'll talk about how I've been feeling lately..
I feel like I'm bipolar or something, because all day I'll pretty much be fine until I lay down and the rest of the day catches up to my brain and everything is trying to be processed at once while Coyotes is running through my head, and the only way I can figure to release the way I feel is cry. And then I think about everything. Am I ready for college? What will happen to my dad? How do you talk to someone who feels they are nothing anymore? I mean, what do you say, or what could you say to make them feel better about their life? I guess there's the fault in that, I don't know what to say to make him feel better, because it seems "I love you" is not enough for him, and I guess he will just be a phantom of a person for the rest of his life. He was supposed to go to Lafayette for a stress test and I remember feeling like maybe because he does not care anymore that maybe he just wants to...to just be. And let his sickness take over him. I think about writing him a letter because if I talk about these things to him I will cry, and he will cry, and sometimes I just make bad choices, and he just oversees them, because he loves me. As a father, and a parent, he has been cheated out of having a happy family. He got the short end of the stick, and it just got worse from there. He was never a person we went to for anything in our family, so it is almost like he just had to watch through a window as we grew up, dependent on only our mother, and treating him like....what? I don't know.
