“if only you could see”
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November 2021
Day 1 - The Watchmaker.
moi, j'attends quand le monde soit meilleur, la dans la cabane du pecheur.
its about two forty in the morning and i think im going crazy.
i just spelled out minute, instead of morning.
in just three hours i will be getting ready to fly to sacramento california for a week dedicated to MATH.
i cannot believe this will be my last trip as part of this wonderful math club.
i made some new friends in this club, and definitely some memories to be treasured. (hackenbush, anyone?)
i befriended a skank, and was the proud owner of a slave.
i learned how precious ranch dressing seems to be for some people,
and how bloody awesome it is when denying weirdos.
i will miss epic adventurez at 3.14 am and stop motion flying azns.
i am going to miss everyone like FUCK.
i hope to get a trophy this year, how amazing would that be?
itd be like LAWL thats a white chick.
i would like to have a picnic before summer is over,
but mostly i just wanna make a pic-a-nic basket.
complete with red checkered blanket and wicker basket.
i would like to visit some really awesome science restaurant/bar/open my own (our own.)
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
god.I'm writing this letter to you, because I know I can trust you to keep it close to your heart. If you were me, I hope you would like to share a similar story. I'm not sure where to begin...
Do you know a watchmaker? Of course you do. But have you ever watched one? It's a curious sight, something I will remember forever. He was the same age as myself, but he knew much more about the world I think. Any time I watched him working, I was always entranced. His hands working so quickly, so delicately. If he wanted to, he could crush the face of the watch between his index finger and thumb. Watchmaking was his ultimate truth.
"Time," he told me, "is an absolute truth. As sure as this wrinkle forms in my brow, so is the reality that time is passing us by." Always watching him, I kept quiet most of the time, gaining confidence. Through imagined scenarios. Unfortunately that confidence, when used, was quickly expended.
"I think you're handsome," I said as proudly as I could manage. He didn't even look up from his work. He simply said, "You are too young." It was enough that I even said that; his response was devastating. My face was beet red, I'm sure. I simply whispered good bye and rode my bicycle home. I had to keep the skirt of my dress between my legs for fear of it getting caught in the back tire. It has happened before. I fell off my bike, scraped my knees, tore my skirt. Luckily, he was walking by. He came up to me, looked at knees, my skirt, my face. He then proceeded to pick me up, holding me like a baby.....holding me like the baby he thought I was. At this thought, I grew angry. Angry, and embarrassed.
I said to him, "Put me down," I didn't even look up at him. He stopped walking and tried to look at me, but I always turned away. "It's no trouble." I didn't care. "Please put me down."
And so he did.
We headed to his shop, though I stayed in front of him, keeping my eyes on the ground, watching the tear drops fall down. It was another reason why I loved him. Despite the way he seemed on the outside, few things were kept in his heart. And I was one of them. After a while, I slowed down, allowing him to catch up with me. I then wrapped my arms around his left arm and we continued walking in this manner. It has been my favorite day of my entire life. Even though I get to see his beautiful face day in and day out, that day means something to me that I want you to one day be able to understand.
I hope you, my friend, will find a reason to smile again.
Labels: fiction junction
