I really wonder how you feel on these nights so alone

“if only you could see”

Are your thoughts results of static cling?

Jun 11, 2008 || 11:29 PM || comment?

You were too fast! I was having such a hard time following you through the corn fields. You were strong, athletic, and your feet fell lightly. My steps were heavily, thudding on the ground like low rolling thunder, and my chest heaved as I struggled for the next breath. I could barely see the corn shuddering before me as your figured slipped between the rows. I thought I might touch the back of your shirt once, but my foot caught on some tangled weeds, and I fell fast to meet the ground. My nose filled with dirt, and my face was filled with pain. My eyes were filled with water as I pushed myself up, and before I realized it, there you were. You were frowning at my clumsiness, you always told me to be careful and it seemed I never listened. You took my hand and we began running again. Running faster and faster, and from what? The oppressive life we were escaping...was it really that bad? It seemed to make much more sense planning this than actually leaving. At least you were carrying our things, because I surely would have lost them. I noticed a few ears of corn poking from the top of your bag, and it was a good thing too, because all this running made me very hungry. You said it wouldn't be longer now, and sure enough, we made it out the field of corn, and it was just a field of grass now. In the distance was a small house, dimly lit.

You told me it was where your friend lived, and he'd be sure to welcome us. You started running again, then looked back with the happiest smile on your face I'd ever seen. Even though I was tired, and could fall asleep right where I was standing, your smile gave me the life to run again. You slowed your pace so I could catch up, and you offered your hand. I desperately took hold if it. I didn't want to lose you again. We were nearly at the front door when you heard a loud noise from inside that made your face lose all of its color. You took me around back, where you peered through a window. I dared to look only a second, and what I saw was enough for one lifetime. Blood stained the floor and the furniture, your friend's body curled in a pathetic heap, one man standing over it, another standing in the doorway, possibly acting as a guard. My eyes watered and my empty stomach lurched. You looked at me, and I'm sure you could have seen a ghost. From your pocket you pulled a knife, silver with red etchings. You pushed it into my hands, then begged for me to leave.

To run and not look back.

I want to cry out so badly, why did I have to go? Why couldn't you go with me? Was this...was this why we were running in the first place? You...you lied to me. You told me we were running so that we could be together, forever. But here you are, pushing me away. Would I see you again? You turned away from me, your eyes staring in the distance. You had no answer for me. Just go, and that is what I did. I ran for my life, even though I was so tired. The only sounds were the crickets and the sound of the pounding heart. I had no idea where I was headed, into a thick forest, and my vision was blurry anyways, from crying. I'm not sure how far I'd gotten before I stopped to lean against a tree for rest. My legs would no longer run, no matter how much I willed them to. I looked up, and the tree wasn't too high, with branches that were thick and full of leaves to hide in. I shoved the knife in my back pocket, looked around, then began climbing as high as I could manage. Anything back on the ground was a speck, and I could see the tops of other lower trees from my position. I stayed awake for some amount of time, ten hours or probably ten minutes, too afraid to sleep, in case you came back for me, or maybe those men...but then I no longer remembered the night, and only the daylight that followed, with no sign of you or them. I came down from the tree, and everything was so dreadfully silent, the memories of the previous night sounded so terribly loud in my mind. I couldn't make sense of anything, and decided to just keep going forward, as I am now, hoping I might find you again some day.

Labels: fiction junction