“if only you could see”
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But you were never really there at all?
You talk about the kind of people that have different personalities when they are in different places, and I think, maybe I am like that kind of person?
There is a time when you talk about certain things, and I noticed, I don't do that often, in person, talk about them. But maybe the glass in front of me is enough protection and secret understanding that we'll leave it floating in some sort of code left to be interpreted.
But it's amazing that I'm understanding anyways.
A few things I have thought about:
What if my dad has another stroke?
What if my dad becomes so depressed, he kills himself?
What if my brother is depressed, and because we only have the kind of relationship where we joke around, I do not know this, and he will not come and talk to me about it? Maybe this is why he misses so much school?
What if tonight is the night some driver can't see and he hits my boyfriend walking to my house?
I have thought about these things, but have never thought about what I'd do if they were to happen. Do you think about these kinds of things ever? Not in a depressing way, or a morbid way, but have these kinds of things ever passed in your mind, like in a fleeting way?
Sometimes when my dad is sleeping, I will wonder how he will wake up in the morning, because I remember him saying, as he thought about that day, he didn't know he woke up with a stroke. So what if he wakes up like that again? I know when he's walking around because his left leg drags a little. I wonder what happens if he falls. I can imagine it, in slow motion, because I have seen him fall before. But it seems so much more destructive in a way, than simply tripping.
I have filled out most of the application for Tulane. I must write a personal statement. What should I write about?