“if only you could see”
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a room with a view
She often found herself wondering, "Who would ever think to pour boiling water over such leafy things?" while she did same. Of course, she would never find her answer, if finding the answer meant finding the person who first poured boiling water over leafy things, because there were so many different ways to pour said boiled water. She would also try other strategies, such as pulling leafy things from her own yard and making her own concoctions. This led to inevitable discomfort as she tried various flavors such as brewed grass, steeped maple leaves, and even well-blended rose thorns. She quickly rejected this theory after accidentally mixing an innocent pill bug in the mix, which made for quite a crunch. Her misguided plight led to a headache, which resulted in her letting the professionals take care of finding what exactly would taste well under boiled water. One intoxicating sip after another, and the warm swills of chamomile were enough to put the woman to sleep. Even if she was standing at the counter, she fell, crashing terrible on the tile floor, where she did not wake until her feline friend decided that her hair was his next chew toy.
I sometimes feel like I'm sitting in my head, in a comfy chair, watching my life pass by, like I'm in some room with a great window watching over the life occuring below. It's interesting to see how easily...I can't find the word...changeable? I can be. I haven't talked to them for probably a month or so, and then one day they call, and I'm spending the rest of the day with them, staying the weekend with them, its like..."whoa? How'd I get here?" For some reason, I just couldn't say /no/. Not because I was like, should I or shouldn't I? I simply never considered the No, it was an automatic, Sure, why not? I enjoy helping her, I'm tutoring her in Math, and I like spending time, but it's so awkward. She's a year younger than me, which means she shouldn't be too different, right? I don't know. I can't say wrong, but it certainly isn't Right. There are several things that you think of someone, and I...well, I just can't think of what is what, it's just too much to post here. I just know, and I'm sorry to say, but I'll be relieved when I've moved away for college, and not be in reaching distance. She's my friend, but it's just too awkward for me. When I'm there it's like, "I'm so glad you're over here, because when you're here, she just gets motivated." And I feel like there's some obligation to her....They always say I'm like family, but her and her mom, I love them very much, but I don't feel the same....Oh, we've known each other for 8, 9 who cares how many years, but people change, she changed, I changed. I don't know. If anything ever happens like what happened last time, I don't think it'll go past 10 years.
I need to get moving in my life. Next year = senior year, and I'm definitely ready.
ps. such oxymoron-ness...
Labels: fiction junction
